I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Little spoons don't ask big questions
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
