Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
