Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Small penises have feelings too.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Randomize
