One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Randomize
