man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
