you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
