What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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