whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
