my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Enjoy the penises
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
