tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
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