Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I will be naked everywhere
Last time i carry you out of a forest
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
