so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
