It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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