Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
