her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
