Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
