Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
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