He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Randomize
