Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
