I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
