The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
You're like the curious george of whores
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
