Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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