You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
