I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
