Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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