Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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