Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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