is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
