You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
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