so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I AM VODKA MAN
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
