At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
