there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
