I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
