I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
