Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
false alarm, still single
Randomize
