He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Randomize
