I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
