I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
