Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
wow bdsm is so cute
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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