why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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