Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
