If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
