it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Randomize
