Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
