I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Randomize
