Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Fuck appropriateness.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
