i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I need a burrito and a hug.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize
