just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
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