He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize
