Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Randomize
